As a thank you for sticking with us through sporadic updates, have this commemorative blingee. Because we here at magicalgirlstuck care.
My apologies to hlw and inverts for taking their beautiful creations and turning them into gifs adorned with glitter and snoop dog.
GC: WH4T? 1’M BUSY.
TA: yeah the dragon thiing riight
GC: YOU’R3 S331NG TH1S? WH3R3 4R3 YOU?
TA: thiis guy fedorafreak ii2 liive2treamiing iit
TA: ii’m iin liine at 7-11
GC: 3XCUS3 M3? >:?
TA: ii saiid ii’m at 7-11. the one acro22 town, by the—
GC: 1’M NOT D34F, C4PTOR, 1 KNOW WH4T YOU S41D!
GC: 1 W4S M3R3LY 3XPR3SS1NG D1SB3L13F 1N 4N 3X4GG3R4T3DLY COM1C4L M4NN3R.
TA: hone2tly, iit’2 liike you don’t even under2tand the concept of 2ecret iidentiitiie2 at all
GC: UGH, SORRY, G3M1N1. 1’M JUST 4 L1TTL3 PR3OCCUP13D H3R3! WH4T W1TH TH3 G14NT DR4GON 4ND 4LL.
TA: tho2e thiing2 can really ruiin your day, ii 2ympathiize
GC: WH4T3V3R, 1T’S NOT R34LLY 4 PROBL3M OR 4NYTH1NG, JUST 4 G1G4NT1C C4RN1VOROUS MONST3R 4TT3MPT1NG TO R1P MY F4C3 OFF.
GC: NO B1G D34L.
GC: T3LL M3 MOR3 ABOUT TH1S L1V3STR34M.
TA: iit’2 pretty funny. he’2 got a counter goiing for ‘total number of panty 2hot2 thu2 far’
TA: want two know what you’re up two?
That would be a great idea if any of your friends ever actually picked up their phones. No, it looks like you’ll have to deal with this yourself— oh, wait, speak of the devilbeast, it appears one of those douchebags has decided to get off his pointy malnourished ass and call you. What suspiciously good and yet also terrible timing!
Unfortunately, you are currently engaged in a series of much less amusing war games with what appears to be an actual dragon. It probably isn’t, but you can never really tell. These things are tricky!
Its realness attribute is as unfortunate as it is persistently frustrating.
Who? You’re not sure you know who that is. There’s certainly no Terezi Pyrope here, not at all.
Your name is SAILOR LIBRA and you fight for TRUTH, JUSTICE, and the ALTERNIAN WAY along with your various disgruntled cohorts, none of whom are currently in attendance. You are also quite sure you have no idea who this KARKAT VANTAS character is! You are too busy FIGHTING CRIME with the MAGICAL POWERS bestowed upon you by your two pet crows. Sadly, you GAVE UP YOUR SIGHT in a street fight exactly THREE YEARS AGO, but that’s okay. It allowed you to obtain the MARTIAN STAFF from which your powers flow! You are pretty proud of yourself for that.
You think your lusus would be proud, too! She was a rather famous LEGISLACERATOR on the prosecution circuit, after all. Too bad she was KILLED HORRIFICALLY IN FRONT OF YOU on the day of your accident.
But you don’t talk about that much anymore.
Your interests include JUSTICE, THE LAW, and PERSECUTING THE UNRIGHTEOUS. You occasionally play with STUFFED DRAGONS in your spare time, for which you are MERCILESSLY MOCKED by STUPID BIRDS.
EB: karkat! wait up, will you?
EB: gee, for such a short guy, you sure can walk fast!
EB: hey, karkat! what’s the hold up, huh?
EB: …man, i know you’ve got something against that crow, but you should probably calm down a little, you think? we’re starting to get weird looks.
EB: we wouldn’t want you to get in trouble for yelling at the ‘sky kittens’, haha!
CG: IT’S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS, EGBERT. FOR YOUR INFORMATION, THIS CROW IS A DICK AND A HALF.
CG: HERE, LET ME INTRODUCE YOU! I’M SURE YOU’LL GET ALONG FAMOUSLY.
CG: ALRIGHT, YOU FEATHERY ASSHOLE, SAY HI TO JOHN.
TG: caw caw
CG: OH YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME.
EB: karkat? you sure you’re alright?
EB: maybe we should get you home, buddy. do you need to lie down? is it a fever? i bet it’s a fever.
EB: it’s that time of year!
CG: HAY FEVER ISN’T AN ACTUAL FEVER, NUMBNUTS.
CG: AND I’M FINE, OKAY? YOU WORRY ABOUT YOUR OWN SHIT, I’LL TAKE CARE OF MINE.
EB: well… if you say so, i trust you! come on, let’s go get a burger or something, my treat.
CG: UH. YEAH, SURE.
CG: JOHN?
EB: yeah, karkat?
CG: YOU’RE NOT FEELING… ANY DIFFERENT, ARE YOU?
EB: as compared to when?
CG: FUCK IF I KNOW. EARLIER?
EB: hmm. kind of, i guess!
CG: …HOW SO?
EB: i’m kind of hungry!
CG: OH MY GOD YOU COLOSSAL FUCKSTAIN. YOU KNOW WHAT? FORGET IT.
CG: HAPPY GODDAMN WRIGGLING DAY TO ME.
Except that’s not what you’re doing, right? Of course you didn’t just sell your soul to a bird of dubious providence for a boyfriend.
That would just be silly.
The bird coughs up a (slightly wet, slightly sticky) roll of parchment, wrapped in ribbon and sealed with wax, pressed in turn with some strange castle-themed sigyl. You’re sure you’ve seen that somewhere before. It’s probably not important. He also pulls out one long, ichor-black wing feather, and you find the tip of it dripping with ink.
Miracles.
TG: just sign on the dotted line
TG: you might not see any effects for a couple of days but keep that contract
TG: dont come to us well come to you
